And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog
One of the entries from the list ‘20 Things Everyone Thinks About the Food World (But Nobody Will Say)’. (via crankyskirt)
GO THE FUCK OFFFF
so after reading a book condoning abusive relationships you should read one that sets out the rules for buying and selling wives (Exodus 22), details how much a woman is worth based on her age (Leviticus 27), tells you a man can rape his female slave without fearing punishment (Leviticus 19), goes on to clarify that a man can rape pretty much any unmarried female and the only “punishment” will be having to marry her and pay a fine (Deuteronomy 22), and commands that women should treat their husbands like gods (Ephesians 5).
Well, it’s probably a good recommendation. If you are able to read Fifty Shades without cringing from the misogyny, then the bible is actually a pretty solid book recommendation. Not to mention, all the bible sex.
it’s funny how people on tumblr are so concerned with avoiding slurs which have unfortunate and discriminatory implications toward a particular group, but almost no one around here seems to have caught on to the fact that words like “childish” are exactly that.
i searched the ageism tag looking for a good laugh and was not disappointed
the number of people who reblog this and add dumbass comments is literally one of the most disappointing experiences with the human race I’ve ever had. why are there not more people - especially on a site where so many claim to be social justice advocates - who can fathom the idea that having negative stereotypes of young people constantly reinforced in casual conversation by way of using them as a proxy insult could possibly be a bad thing?
An excerpt from the book I’m writing, Plum Pudding: short stories in the age of conformity and ignorance
“One day my friend told me about her boyfriend.
It was a nonchalant yet sad story.
Her boyfriend’s family was in poverty and had a sense of pride.
They refused to accept donations for her boyfriends medical condition.
A deadly heart defect, her boyfriend wanted her to break up with him because his parents were forcing him to die.
He was going to die without medical care.
I can’t get a vaccine without my parents permission.
He can’t get a heart transplant without his parents permission.
Do you see the problem yet?
The problem with senseless ageism in the name of “parent’s rights”?
It doesn’t matter that we will grow up and receive adult privilege someday if the oppression of us leads to our deaths before becoming an adult.
Young people are people. Could you treat them that way?
Would it kill you to let youth have access to health care?
To speak their minds?
Because your ignorance is killing us.”
ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.
(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)
she’s so well mosturized i love it
This makes me want to wash my face. Actually I’m gonna go do that, brb
#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle
this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GODTumblr users should never make infomercials
IT TOOK ME TWO TIMES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON, HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY SIDES.